salvaging the -unsalvageable-

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i try
you know it
you dismiss it
i know it

all goes dark and
you show up
luring me in and
i’m quick to give in..
you dismiss it
i know it
you know it
..we both ignore it

such a slow death
what a low bet

xx
C.

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my love for you

I believe in this with all my heart.

It doesn’t matter what life throws, how many times it breaks you, but rather the will to continue, to see further, to see in the same direction, to stare into the eyes of the loved one and feel peace, that peace that’s only found in their stare, in their soul.

To feel strong and invincible when you hold their hand.

To feel like you have a goal in common. Love is love, love is the goal. love is love.

It doesn’t matter all the setbacks, it can be worked out, if the people involved are willing, everything can be worked out.

That is if they’re willing to work it out.l, to put their mind to it, to move not just lips with promises, but feet with actions.

Love is love, and only the truest prevails.

xx

C.

wedding 101

i’ve always thought some women tend to fixate on the wrong things when planning their weddings:

•don’t pick these flowers, they look cheap.

•i’m getting married in X months, that’s why im on a constant diet all the time now. (To the point where i actually deny even looking at food cuz omg im so fat).

•what is the menu going to be? I don’t want to be critizised!! (Not this because it cheapens the wedding; oh no, not that because that is so boring; ohh no no no, eww it needs to be over the top).

•my mom wants me to do this thing I don’t really want for my wedding , my future mother in law wants me to pick this color for overall theme, members of my soon-to-be- Family are now angry because I didn’t gave them enough invitations.

•centerpieces? Ugh don’t even ask me to go there yet. I am so stressed with all the options.

•i keep fighting with my wedding planner over this and that, i guess I’ll just give in, that’s easier honestly.

•I don’t care about the stupid music. My fiance wants this stupid band to play, im like ok do whatever you want just don’t give me more trouble.

i need at least six months to plan the wedding, and I’m not happy about it. I would appreciate to have at least a year to deal with this whole mess.

uuuuugh I’m so tired of this, i just want this stupid wedding to be over with.

•yeah we’re going to be working, so we can’t go on a honeymoon. We’ll just postpone it and go in a couple months, yeah like, whatever.

…and so on with the ridiculousness of it all, with already 500 guests and counting

now, I’m not married nor have ever been but, that has certainly not stopped me from seeing things a lot more differently, Thank God.

*i do believe in marriage
*i do believe in Love
*no I don’t need a piece of paper saying we’re married, but it’d be good to have one
*if and when that day comes, I’m thankful for I’ll know the really important things to consider when planning my wedding:

••we’re so in Love
••we’re already so committed to eachother
••let’s please have string lights, mason jars, keep it simple and small, have it al fresco and smile till our cheeks hurt..

•i want carnations and baby’s breath (they so happen to be the cheappest flowers, according to women around me) but guess what, i find them so pretty, i don’t care about their cheapness, it actually works for the best, more flowers for us!
•i’m not gonna lie, i am on a diet.. but could you please pass me a small piece of that? thank you!
•it’s my wedding and i cry if i want to.. which translates to: dear everyone else other that my fiance and me: if you want this or that, please feel free to go ahead and plan your own weddings. thank you.
•music.. this point deserves its whole post, but that shall remain just in my brain, labeled as classified information. **
•ohhh we’re deffinitely having a honeymoon..

bottom line is, to me, a wedding should be about two people celebrating their love. getting to share (with just a few close friends and family) that special bond. Not about this pompous draining semi-hollywood production designed to make people spend money they don’t have and get stressed over it in the process.

then again, look at the people who’s getting married..

yes, i have my self esteem pretty high on that regard..
💁🏻‍♀️

anyway, just my not so humble opinion.

i’m so distant from being in this position really.
404 boyfriend not found.
i
but i wanted to write about it nonetheless..

xx
C.